Forgiveness is an expression of love. Forgiveness frees from bonds that embitter the soul and make the body sick.
Many of our attempts at forgiveness fail because we essentially confuse what it is to forgive.
Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is not forgetting what happened to us. It does not mean excusing or justifying a certain event or bad behavior. It is not accepting what happened with resignation. It is not denying the pain. It is not minimizing the events that occurred. It doesn’t mean you agree with what happened, or that you approve of it. Forgiving does not mean not giving importance to what happened, nor giving the reason to someone who hurt you.
We mistakenly believe that forgiveness must lead us inexorably to reconciliation with the aggressor. We think that to forgive is to become close friends of our aggressor and for that reason we reject him.
It does not imply that at all, forgiveness is ONLY FOR YOU and for no one else.
We should not expect the person who assaulted us to change or modify their behavior. Forgiveness is based on accepting what happened. Unforgiveness binds you to people from resentment. It has you chained.
Forgiveness should be done “without expectations” without waiting for anything to happen. If we wait for the aggressor to accept his mistake, we do not forgive from the heart because we will be waiting in vain and spending our time and our energies on an apology that will never come. We are still anchored in the problem, in yesterday, wanting to be paid for our pain.
There is nothing and no one who can compensate for the pain caused in the past, the past has no way to be changed. No kind of revenge can correct the moments of sadness and desolation that we live, how bad we feel.
Unforgiveness is the most destructive poison for the spirit because it neutralizes the emotional resources you have.
Forgiveness is a statement that we can and must renew daily. Many times the most important person you have to forgive is yourself. Forgiving from our hearts, we managed to look at the facts as they happened, without judgment, and then decided to let them go. That every experience is a new opportunity to learn and grow.
Cover photo: Patrick Schneider de unslapsh.com